I am a spouse, mother, and grandmother defined by a lifelong passion for service. With a background in Mathematics and Counseling, I am eager to return to community volunteerism and my grandchildren.
My journey began in 2000 with a diabetes diagnosis, followed by high blood pressure in 2005. Despite my best efforts to stay active and follow medical advice, these were silent predictors of Chronic Kidney Disease. By 2014, I reached Stage 2, which progressed to End-Stage Kidney Disease by 2024. After two potential living donors were unable to proceed, my need has become urgent. I have transitioned from a fiercely independent “giver” to someone now asking for the ultimate gift of life.
With kidneys in total failure, a transplant represents the gold standard for survival. It is the most effective treatment for ESKD, offering a life-saving alternative to the physical toll of dialysis.
Before my health declined, my life revolved around activity and family. As an award-winning counselor and the oldest of six, I was always the one protecting others. I loved biking 20 miles at a time and traveling to explore historic sites and ballparks. Most importantly, I cherished my frequent trips to Austin to be with my grandchildren. I am fighting for a transplant so I can return to being the active grandmother and community volunteer I’ve always been.
I think my CKD story really began in 2000 when I was first diagnosed with diabetes. I exercised regularly. I could bike 20 miles. I was fine physically. OK, a lot of people have diabetes, no big deal. So I started diabetes medication.
By 2005 a more powerful diabetes medication was prescribed. I was also diagnosed with high blood pressure. WHAT? I’m doing everything right! I follow my doctor’s orders, I take medication as prescribed, and all I have to show for it is worse diabetes and high blood pressure? Oh well, it’s common, even my husband was diagnosed with high blood pressure at 18 and diagnosed as pre-diabetic about 12 years ago (GOOD NEWS: He remains pre-diabetic. Making lifestyle changes can work for some people.) In 2005 with both diabetes and high blood pressure I learned these are predictors of future kidney disease. My kidney function was still pretty normal, and I was determined to keep it that way.
From 2005 to 2014 I was relatively stable. Blood pressure well controlled. Blood sugar level fine with medication. Kidney function just about normal. But in 2014 the blood work told a different story.
My physician told me my eGFR (the primary indicator of kidney disease) indicates I may have CKD Stage 2, mild kidney disease, but my kidneys are still working well. Now wait just a minute. I never smoked. My lifetime alcohol consumption was one tablespoon of wine that tasted terrible and I literally spit it out. For almost 15 years since that initial diabetes diagnosis I followed my physician’s instructions. Now I may have CKD?
I continued to follow my physicians instructions. I ate the right foods. I drank a lot of water every day. I exercised. But my CKD was progressing. Kidneys work well (Stage 2) became kidneys don’t work as well as they should (Stage 3) to kidneys are close to failing (Stage 4). I was losing this battle.
MY REASON FOR SHARING EVERYTHING ABOVE IS TO ASK YOU TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDNEYS EVERYDAY. ASK YOUR PHYSICIAN HOW BEST TO DO THAT. THANK YOU.
By early 2024 I was Stage 5, my kidneys were close to not working at all. I was in End Stage Kidney Disease. I got on the National Waiting List for a cadaver donor kidney. A friend volunteered to donate a kidney. The donor was a great match! But the donor needed time before donating….and more time…and more time. By the time a full year had passed the donor had to be retested to assure the donor still qualified. My nephrologist said I’d “been stable for a year and didn’t yet need dialysis and could probably go another year without dialysis”. Retesting of the donor determines…..Yes, still qualifies!
I’m getting a new kidney, I’m getting a new kidney!
Wait! What? You don’t want to donate? For nearly two years I thought I had a donor, it was not to be. Donating a kidney is a BIG ASK, and every donor can change their mind right up until the donor is on the operating table.
I had already lost the physical battle against CKD, that day I lost the emotional battle against CKD.
Another friend immediately came to my rescue! She tested. However, a genetic test showed she could be susceptible to kidney disease at a later age. While we were both heartbroken she could not donate, the silver lining is she is taking better care of her kidneys, as are her husband and children.
Today, I am in urgent need of a kidney from someone who is unbelievably generous.
My wife is the oldest of six children. She helped take care of her siblings. She protected her siblings. She became a counselor. Her whole life has been helping people. She is also fiercely independent. In team projects in college, she would do all the work and share the credit; students always wanted to be on her team! Valedictorian… award-winning counselor…volunteer…mother…wife…grandmother… friend…she excels at everything. And demands that no one help her. She has often said, “I am a giver, not a receiver. I help others; I don’t want others to help me”.
Up until now, she has refused to go public and ask for help. But she needs help. I do not qualify to be a donor, no husband wants to be told he cannot help his wife in a time of need. We are out of friends who have volunteered to donate. Only 1 in 7 people who believe they are healthy enough to donate actually are healthy enough to donate. So I asked her to go public with a kidney4spouse campaign. Hard-headed woman that she is, she refused to seek help from people who were not family members or close friends. After months of intense discussion, she finally agreed. Her agreement to change who she is, an independent person wanting help from no one, shows how desperate she is. Thank you for considering donating a kidney to her.
